|
This page is a work in progress! |
[Episode opens up at the ZPD where Duke Weaselton leaves after his arrestment with Judy Hopps at Little Rodentia.]
Duke Weaselton: [laughing] Yeah. See ya later, Francine.
Officer Pennington: Ugh, Weaselton. You gotta rethink your life. You're in here so often, it's embarrassing.
Duke Weaselton: What? You don't know what you're talking about. I'm the Duke of Weaseltown. I'm big time.
[Suddenly, news comes on about Duke's recent event with Judy back in Little Rodentia.]
Peter Moosebridge: Small time thief and ne'er-do-well, Duke Weaselton embarrassed himself once again today. [Duke's jaw drops shocked] He wreaked havoc in Little Rodentia until he was apprehended with a giant donut, by ZPD's first bunny cop on a...
No. No!
Correction. It was a meter maid.
Duke Weaselton: What? There's cameras?
Did you see this?
Look, look, look, look.
It's a weasel caught by a bunny, and he's stuck in a donut.
Peter Moosebridge: With that kind of luck, he'll always be a small-time crook.
Kid: It's so good.
Man: That's him there.
Whoa!
Man 1: That's the guy.
Hey.
Duke Weaselton: Quit laughing. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. [Runs away]
Man 2: What a shame!
Duke Weaselton: Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just a small-time loser. [Gets dumped with garbage]
Wolf: Yep. You're a loser.
Duke Weaselton: I had dreams to make it big. Where did I go wrong? [A spotlight shines down on Duke as he begins to sing]
When I was young
With the world at my feet
My future looked sweet and bright
I chose the wrong path
Which I've lived to regret
How can I set it right
What more could be waiting for me
Besides this small-time crime spree
Do I start a new life?
Get a new gig?
It's time to dream big
Picture me sensibly dressed
A perfect employee
Selling used cars with a zest
The people enjoy me
Quick, plant your buns
I swear it runs
We don't believe in refunds
Come see the weasel 'cause these'll go fast
I'll make it big time
From small time to big time
Big time
Whoa-oh-oh
Oh, what a feeling
Wheeling and dealing
Making it, making it big time
Now you're thinking through it
Hey, you can do it
Go on and pursue it
Laws were not always my friend
There you go!
That was my journey
Could I protect and defend
As an attorney
Or as a surgeon
With an urgent need to
Donate organs
Then I'd self-publish
My uplifting tale
How I went big time
Big time
From small time to big time
One eight hundred pop goes
Big time
Whoa oh
Call the weasel, call the weasel
Then you can all meet
The weasel of Wall Street
Making it, making it big time
Making it, making it big
Follow the guru
Now he's a guru
Follow the guru
Duke I'll teach you the power of now
If you buy a subscription
I could do a weaselly dig
Become a big tycoon
Then maybe I'll shoot for the stars and end up on the moon
Here at the top looking down
I'm like a titan
Hand me a cape and a crown
Give me a triton Loving my sleazy ol' weaselly life
Oh, money, you complete me. Mmm... What? Hey!
Your premiums are outrageous.
You took my kidney.
This was a terrible car.
I lost my life savings.
Donut: I just plain don't like you.
When I was young
With the world at my feet
My future looked sweet
And bright
Now I've gotta try to rectify
And choose to be a good guy
I'll straighten up
And try not to stray
Starting today
And I'll be big time
Big time
From small time to big time
Gonna be a better weasel
Big time
I'm sticking to it
No, I can do it
Making it, making it big...
Goat: I'm okay. It's just a scratch.
Duke: BIG TIME!!!
Sorry, goat lady. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Goat: That was fun.
The End